The Discovery Channel has a show called Mythbusters. The show’s researchers test the validity, in an entertaining way, of such “urban myths” as: If a dog sees a fire hydrant, it will always pee on it; or Cockroaches are the only life form that will survive the nuclear holocaust.
My insatiable curiosity (and way too much time on my hands) has led me recently to explore the meaning behind some often-used English sayings that refer to China, including:
“Dig a hole to China”
“A slow boat to China”
“Not for all the tea in China”
Dig a hole to China
Here’s one myth that I can almost guarantee you will never see on Mythbusters, simply because it’s physically impossible to do, and can be “busted” using a little geographical knowledge. It goes like this: If you dig a hole from your American back yard all the way through the earth [including the hot, molten center], you will end up in China.
As you can see, my hole emerged not in China, but in the Indian Ocean somewhere to the left of Australia. Not only did I save myself from being burned in the earth’s core, but I saved our back yard from getting flooded in the process.
Since turnabout is fair play, I next put the arrow on Chengdu, Sichuan, China, and – like magic! – ended up off the coast of Chile in South America.
I happened to mention this myth in one of my classes, while talking about culture shock and stereotypes. Out of curiosity, I asked my students if they’d been told a similar story about digging a hole to the U.S. Their reply: yes, of course.
Now, you have to give me LOTS of credit for finding the following cartoon images for you. In the back of my mind was a vague memory of a Warner Brothers cartoon featuring Tweety and Sylvester upside-down in China, where Tweety Bird wore a Chinese hat, had slanted eyes, and spoke in a “Chinese” accent.
After endless internet searching I finally found that the 1957 Merrie Melodies cartoon was called Tweety and the Beanstalk. At the end, Sylvester chops down the beanstalk to save himself from the evil Giant, who then falls on top of him with such force that Sylvester is knocked all the way to China (upside down, of course).
There he meets “Chinese” Tweety, sitting on a branch, who says “Oh, I tawt I taw dishonorable puddy tat.”
What better example of cultural stereotypes could you ask for? You can watch the complete cartoon online here:
http://www.toontube.com/video/274/Tweety-and-the-Beanstalk
One more note: places at opposite ends of the earth are called antipodes (“anti” opposed and “pous” or “pod” foot, as in podiatrist). In other words, the opposite side of the world from where I’m standing is the antipodal point of that spot.
Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.
– Rudyard Kipling, Barrack-room ballads, 1892
A slow boat to China
Well there’s no verse to this song
‘Cause I don’t want to wait a moment too long
To say that I’d love to get you on a slow boat to China
All to myself alone
To get you to keep you in my arms evermore
Leave all your lovers weeping on the far-away shore
Well out on the briny with a moon big and shiny
Melting your heart of stone
Well I’d love to get you on a slow boat to China
All to myself alone
I’d like to get you on a slow boat to China,
All to myself alone
A twist in the rudder, and a rip in the sail.
Drifting and dreaming, throw the compass over the rail!
Out on the ocean far from all the commotion
Melting your heart of stone,
Well I’d love to get you on a slow boat to China
All to myself alone.(I’d Like to Get You on a) Slow Boat to China is a popular song by Frank Loesser, published in 1947. [This version: Kay Kyser & his Orchestra, Harry Babbit & Gloria Wood, vocalists]
Where did he get the phrase? His daughter, Susan Loesser, author of a biography of her father, A Most Remarkable Fella (1993), writes:
“I’d like to get you on a slow boat to China” was a well-known phrase among poker players, referring to a person who lost steadily and handsomely. My father turned it into a romantic song, placing the title in the mainstream of catch-phrases in 1947.
I can vouch for this personally: before I left Los Angeles, I shipped some boxes of books to myself in Chengdu by the least expensive method: slow boat to China. True to the saying, the boxes took about 6 weeks to reach their destination.
Not for all the tea in China
Not for all the tea in China means not for all the money in the world.
“Not for all the tea in China!” is an expression many us have known since childhood. First used in Australia in the 1890s, this exclamation refers to the obscene amount of money it would take to entice the speaker to do something he or she would never do. The idiom demonstrates that China, being the birthplace of tea, maintains primacy of association with tea production. It also recalls that tea was initially a rich person’s drink in Europe. When the East India Tea Company first brought tea to Holland, it cost $100 per pound. Similarly, in England, tea gardens—lavish outdoor events featuring fancy flowers, food, and tea, accompanied by fireworks and gambling—gave tea drinking its exotic cachet. Tea and money were inextricably linked.
Not all the tea, but enough to enjoy a rare sunny afternoon in Chengdu at a riverside tea house.