Personal history

Simple pleasures

It’s the small things. Like having almost two months of paid vacation during the winter holiday. Watching all the movies I can get my hands on. Going to bed at night anticipating my morning coffee. Fooling around with my new camera (whoops – that’s not simple!) Here are some photos from the past couple of weeks:
 coffee-ready
Ready

 

perfect-coffee-photoThe perfect start

 

pasta-with-olive-oil-and-garlic

 Good eats: capellini with olive oil, onion, and shallots

 

good-eats

Stuff I like: hot peppers, garlic, grated ginger, and shallots

 

foreign-letter-3

Letter from another country, with a new vintage postcard for my collection

skechers-in-box

Noo shooz

 

noo-shooz

Xiao Gou Gou inspects them to make sure they fit.

 

the-man-who-loved-china

Reading list: one of my new books from Amazon.com, all the way from the U.S.

 

chinese-lesson

Studying Chinese – a pleasure when I do it, which isn’t often.

 

my-study-room

Where I hang out – my study room. I sleep on the couch during the winter.

A new leaf – a new camera

One of the photos I took with my new Canon EOS 40D

 

It finally happened. I entered the digital age of photography. After waiting for 2 1/2 years, I was finally able to buy my new camera, the Canon EOS 40D with a 17-85 mm zoom lens. I couldn’t be happier with it, although I spent more than I’d originally intended. I needed a camera badly, and this fits the bill; it should serve me well for years to come through many travel adventures. Now if I could just learn how to operate it. The display panels, menus, buttons, and knobs are a bit baffling to me, and I started wading through the 196-page user manual tonight.

Now I know what I’ll be doing for the rest of the winter vacation. And you, dear readers, can look forward to LOTS of juicy photos from me in the near future.

 
  

My friend took this photo right after we bought my new camera – it’s beautiful.

 

This is mine.

 

 

What better way to end an afternoon of shopping than with food? This was at the Long Chao Shou restaurant.

Was it good for you, baby?

 

bush_head

 

Today’s thought:

Ding dong, the Bush is dead!

-anonymous

Long live Obama. Even if he does turn out to be just another military-industrial president. At least he has a brain. And he can talk. OK everybody, breathe a collective sigh of relief.

(sound effect: The entire United States exhaling after 8 years of greed, crime, corruption, torture, illegal incarceration, genocide, and war)

 

 

It is finished. School, that is. I’m taking a well-deserved rest, after completing the last of my classes a couple of weeks ago. I asked my Business English students what aspects of American culture they were curious about, and one of them suggested political parties. I did my best to explain that the two-party system doesn’t mean that only two parties exist (there are actually many – just look at an election ballot), but that effectively only the Democrats or Republicans have a chance of getting a presidential candidate in office. I also cited someone (Noam Chomsky?) who said that America only has one party – the Corporate Party – and its two factions are called the Democrats and Republicans. I provided some handouts explaining why the donkey and the elephant came to be the symbols for the parties, as well as the Thomas Nast political cartoon that started it all. As usual, I didn’t share the most interesting visual aid I found:

 

conraddonkey

 

I could make a really gross comment about taking it up the *** (donkey – jackass, get it?), but in the interest of good taste I won’t.

Instead, I’ll talk about shoes. Then I’ll talk about sluts.

I’ve spent ages trying to find athletic shoes in Chengdu that fit my extra-wide foreign feet. One of my students even spent a day with me trying to find shoes that fit. No luck. I even gave up trying to buy shoes over the internet (no one will ship to China). Then I tried eBay. Lo and behold, there was my favorite brand – Skechers – in my size (11 wide) and the style (Energy After-Burn) I wanted. Even with postage, the price was still less than I’d pay in Chengdu for name-brand shoes.
Speaking of sluts – I no longer qualify, although I could tell you some stories about a sleazy L.A. bar in Silver Lake called Cuffs – I ordered the DVD of my fave John Waters film, the campy cult classic Female Trouble. It boasts a menagerie of perverts, including slutty Dawn Davenport, who throws a tantrum, knocks the Christmas tree over on her mother, and runs away from home, just because she didn’t get the cha-cha heels she wanted for Christmas.

 

female-trouble-3

“Davenport. Dawn Davenport! I’m a thief and a shitkicker, and, uh, I’d like to be famous. “
 
 
sexiest-outfit-ever 
Edith Massey, Female Trouble: world’s sexiest outfit
 
female-trouble-1

I’ve been lying around the house myself, watching way too many movies from the Internet Archive. Some are real gems, others are period pieces like Rain (1932), that are interesting mainly because Joan Crawford helped to define the slut genre:

 

9f730af886269e04_rain_crawford-joan
 La Crawford in Rain: slut, slut, slut.

 

 

BTW (that’s by the way), I was going to write a short piece on initialism, those “first letter” expressions that became so popular with the advent of live online chat and text messaging. IMHO (in my humble opinion or I’m a Ho) I hate these little buzz expressions, especially ASAP (as soon as possible) which has actually become an acronym, or word, as in “Please do it ay-sap.” LOL (laugh out loud or little old lady) is a little better, and I don’t mind BRB (be right back) too much, but they get boring after a while. I can’t claim them as my own inventions, but try slipping these into your conversations:

TTTT – To Tell the Truth
WPF – When Pigs Fly
TFB – Too Fucking Bad
BOB – Back Off, Bitch
If you have absolutely nothing better to do, visit Acronym Finder and type in any combination of letters. Chances are, they’re already in use as a phrase, even SLUT (sweet little unforgettable thing – can you believe it?).

OK, that’s it. Stick a fork in me, ’cause I’m done. That’s SAFIMCID.

Anecdotal evidence

 My Buddha – meditating into the New Year

 

This is the New Year’s Day blog. How’s that for a snappy opening line? It’s been a wet, cold, drizzly, gray, depressing New Year. I had to teach today; one of my Saturday classes was canceled a couple of weeks ago, so we met today to make it up. Instead of doing the normal 9 to 3:15 thing with lunch break, I taught straight through from 9 AM to 1 PM, with two mini breaks. I explained some of the traditional New Year’s traditions in America: getting drunk, kissing someone at midnight (in a pinch, a stranger will do), and making resolutions. I shared my own resolutions:

1. Lose 10 kilograms (about 22 pounds!)
2. Earn more money
3. Travel a lot
4. Work hard at learning Chinese

One of my students burst my balloon my stating that I can’t have more money and travel a lot. Oh well. What I didn’t talk about, though, were my REAL resolutions:

1. Work on my anger issues
2. Work on my character defects (demanding what I want instead of being passive- aggressive and whining; speaking my mind and actually responding to people instead of being complacent and agreeable.
3. Be happy. I know that sounds vague, but the 12th step of AA says that it’s about the joy of living. I ain’t had no joy this past year. Well, maybe for a couple of moments.

Now for some comedy relief:

Here’s the best teaching anecdote that I’ve read recently, and it isn’t even from an English teacher – it’s from a food blogger:

Bad English Lesson [April 2007] – by David Lebovitz

I’ve been teaching English to a couple of my friends here, and the other day I tossed in a phrase they’d never heard before:

‘Sit yo ass down.’

After I said it, I realized I’d made a rather important error, so I corrected myself:

‘Sit yo ass down, bitch.’

I also accompanied it with a raised index finger moving side-to-side with my head moving from side-to-side at the same time, but in the opposite direction of my finger.

My friend Florence looked at me with great interest, and asked, “And when would you use this expression?”

I wasn’t quite sure what to tell her.

(After I said it, I realized that I probably shouldn’t have since if the phrase catches on, someday in the future you might go to a café or restaurant in Paris and the waitress will tell you to do just that…and you’ll know who to blame.)

One of the comments from readers made this correction: it should really be

‘sit yo ass down, bee-yotch’

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/archives/2007/04/

 


 
Brain freeze

I spent Dec. 31 going for a numbingly cold bicycle ride, freezing my head and almost getting in a bike accident when I passed someone on the left instead of on the right.* I ended up at the Wanda Plaza, a huge shopping center / cinema / residential complex. I had two immediate goals: shop at Ito Yokado and visit Tip Top Ice Cream. I’d been there once before with a friend, but only sampled his ice cream without ordering my own (it’s expensive stuff). It was just about the best I’d ever tasted. [Well, maybe Vivoli in Florence was the best, but technically that’s gelato, not ice cream.] Imagine my disappointment, then, when I had my mouth and taste buds set for some super-rich, creamy goodness, and I couldn’t find the place. It just wasn’t there. Then, I did find it, but it was closed for remodeling. I walked away in disgrace, consoling myself at Ito Yokado with a couple of new wool scarves on sale.

After class today I stopped in at Isetan (the other Japanese department store chain) for some cheese, French bread, smoked ham, and coffee. Since it was almost 3 o’clock and I hadn’t eaten lunch, I made a gargantuan ham, cheese, and onion sandwich on French bread drizzled with olive oil. It was overwhelming; I fell onto the couch for a nap immediately after.

I’ve officially moved into my small study room for the winter. It’s cozy, warmer than the bedroom, and it will just hold the long sofa, which lays flat for sleeping. Over the past few days I’ve watched the complete first two seasons of Mad Men. Like a good book, I just couldn’t put it down; it’s captivating. I’m hooked – now I have to have more.

Palace of Fine Arts, San Francisco, 2000  
 

* OK, I admit that I’m absolutely clueless when it comes to traffic and bicycle etiquette in China. In Los Angeles it’s customary to say “Passing on your left” (or right) when overtaking another cyclist [but then it’s also customary for cars to simply run over bike riders, since they just don’t look for them]. In China, people pass wherever there’s room – in the wrong lane, the wrong side of the street, the right, the left, even on the sidewalk, for God’s sake – but always with a warning honk. I did ring my bicycle bell when I was beside the other rider, expecting him to veer right, but he veered left, sending me into the high curb next to a bus stop and scraping my ankle. My response to him was “Xiao xin!” or “Be careful!” His response was a smile. However, just this morning I was crossing a bicycle lane as I walked to the bus stop, when a motor scooter beeped behind me. Instinctively, I started to move left, to the safety of the metal guard rail separating the bike lane from the street. I narrowly missed being hit. The thought suddenly struck me: it’s not a right or left thing; you simply move toward a protective barrier or object. Can someone else in China offer me their wisdom on this subject?