Ding dong, the Bush is dead!
Long live Obama. Even if he does turn out to be just another military-industrial president. At least he has a brain. And he can talk. OK everybody, breathe a collective sigh of relief.
(sound effect: The entire United States exhaling after 8 years of greed, crime, corruption, torture, illegal incarceration, genocide, and war)
It is finished. School, that is. I’m taking a well-deserved rest, after completing the last of my classes a couple of weeks ago. I asked my Business English students what aspects of American culture they were curious about, and one of them suggested political parties. I did my best to explain that the two-party system doesn’t mean that only two parties exist (there are actually many – just look at an election ballot), but that effectively only the Democrats or Republicans have a chance of getting a presidential candidate in office. I also cited someone (Noam Chomsky?) who said that America only has one party – the Corporate Party – and its two factions are called the Democrats and Republicans. I provided some handouts explaining why the donkey and the elephant came to be the symbols for the parties, as well as the Thomas Nast political cartoon that started it all. As usual, I didn’t share the most interesting visual aid I found:
I could make a really gross comment about taking it up the *** (donkey – jackass, get it?), but in the interest of good taste I won’t.
Instead, I’ll talk about shoes. Then I’ll talk about sluts.
I’ve spent ages trying to find athletic shoes in Chengdu that fit my extra-wide foreign feet. One of my students even spent a day with me trying to find shoes that fit. No luck. I even gave up trying to buy shoes over the internet (no one will ship to China). Then I tried eBay. Lo and behold, there was my favorite brand – Skechers – in my size (11 wide) and the style (Energy After-Burn) I wanted. Even with postage, the price was still less than I’d pay in Chengdu for name-brand shoes.
Speaking of sluts – I no longer qualify, although I could tell you some stories about a sleazy L.A. bar in Silver Lake called Cuffs – I ordered the DVD of my fave John Waters film, the campy cult classic Female Trouble. It boasts a menagerie of perverts, including slutty Dawn Davenport, who throws a tantrum, knocks the Christmas tree over on her mother, and runs away from home, just because she didn’t get the cha-cha heels she wanted for Christmas.
“Davenport. Dawn Davenport! I’m a thief and a shitkicker, and, uh, I’d like to be famous. “
Edith Massey, Female Trouble: world’s sexiest outfit
I’ve been lying around the house myself, watching way too many movies from the Internet Archive
. Some are real gems, others are period pieces like Rain
(1932), that are interesting mainly because Joan Crawford helped to define the slut genre:
La Crawford in Rain: slut, slut, slut.
BTW (that’s by the way), I was going to write a short piece on initialism, those “first letter” expressions that became so popular with the advent of live online chat and text messaging. IMHO (in my humble opinion or I’m a Ho) I hate these little buzz expressions, especially ASAP (as soon as possible) which has actually become an acronym, or word, as in “Please do it ay-sap.” LOL (laugh out loud or little old lady) is a little better, and I don’t mind BRB (be right back) too much, but they get boring after a while. I can’t claim them as my own inventions, but try slipping these into your conversations:
TTTT – To Tell the Truth
WPF – When Pigs Fly
TFB – Too Fucking Bad
BOB – Back Off, Bitch
If you have absolutely nothing better to do, visit Acronym Finder
and type in any combination of letters. Chances are, they’re already in use as a phrase, even SLUT (sweet little unforgettable thing
– can you believe it?).
OK, that’s it. Stick a fork in me, ’cause I’m done. That’s SAFIMCID.